FAQ: Memorial Services

Here's an interesting way to answer the question: a memorial service is not a funeral. Although both ceremonies are intended to bring communities together in support and remembrance, one is far more formal than the other. A memorial service is not led by clergy but guided by a celebrant or master of ceremonies. It allows all who attend the service to participate on some level, not just to observe and reflect.

Visualizing a memorial service as a mid-point on the spectrum of service format possibilities may be helpful. On one end is the more formally-structured, clergy-led funeral service (often with three components: the visitation, funeral, and a committal service held at the cemetery). At the other end is the celebration of life, an event where the deceased's life–their passions, intellectual pursuits, and personal accomplishments–are the focus of attention. A funeral isn't truly celebratory, whereas a celebration of life is all about celebration. A memorial service could be said to be a gentle mix of the two. Still, in all honesty, each memorial service is unique. Speak with your funeral professional for further insights.

Our job is to work with you to determine which type of service best suits your unique situation. Rather than telling you, our work is in showing you the spectrum of possibilities. We can explain your options and make suggestions to empower you to arrive at the best possible decision.

The answer ultimately depends upon the 'bells & whistles'–the special features–you've selected during the arrangement conference. You'll receive a copy of the General Price List when you meet with the funeral director to discuss costs. This will detail all the basic professional services included in the price of your loved one's memorial service, along with the cost of any ancillary products or services you've purchased. Call us to get a better idea of what your loved one's memorial service will do for you and what it will cost.

You'll discuss some things with your funeral director that involve purchases made from outside vendors, and you will be asked to pay for those items at the time of the arrangement conference. One of the most common is the fee charged by a newspaper to print your loved one's obituary. Another cash advance charge could be for clergy or musician's fees, floral arrangements, and reception necessities, such as food/beverage or facility rental. Your funeral director will provide you with a detailed invoice for all cash advance items.

The vendors we work with the newspapers, florists, caterers and musicians, all require us to pay for goods and services when ordered or at the time of delivery. Our "good faith" relationship with them requires us to charge you for them at the close of the arrangement conference. Your funeral director will take time to explain any and all of the necessary cash advance expenses incurred as part of your service planning.

A good rule of thumb is to expect to pay when the service contract is signed (at the time of the arrangement conference or soon afterward). Speak with your funeral director to learn more.

We've written some pages on memorial service planning; however, the short answer would include selecting the service's location, date, and time. You'll be asked to identify the specific readings, musical selections, food or beverages, and/or the activities you'd like to feature and the people you would like to participate in the service itself. Memorial service planning isn't complex; it's empowering. After all, you've got a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to show the world how much your loved one meant to you. We invite you to speak with one of our service planning professionals to learn more.

Certainly, your funeral director will need you to specify certain details: the where and when, for example. Together you'll make important decisions about other specifics. However, once those decisions are made, you can "step back" if you wish and let us handle everything, or have as much input as you please.

You'll need to provide the documents/information required to complete your loved one's death certificate and obituary. You may also wish to bring in a collection of family photographs to be used in making a tribute video or in the decoration of the service location. Other items may be needed at some point, depending on the arrangements made. Your funeral director will provide you with an exact list of the things he or should would like you to bring along to the arrangement conference.

A celebrant is a person who has been trained to conduct formal ceremonies, such as weddings, baptisms and funerals. They are not clergy; instead they are experienced masters-of-ceremony and story-tellers. A celebrant works closely with surviving family to create a ceremony which reflects the beliefs, cultural background, values and aspirations of your deceased loved one, and your family. If you think you would be best served by a celebrant, please speak with your funeral director.

Commonly the funeral director who met with you during the arrangement conference will assume the responsibility of writing the obituary. You will support them in doing so by providing them with the necessary legal documents (birth certificates, military records, and marriage or divorce decrees) and other important details about your loved one's life. If you, or another family member or friend, wish to write the obituary, we can help to guide you through the process.